Contemplating While in the Middle of Traffic

i used to dwell on being sad
but now it's just a passing thought
i refuse to feel nor to taste
i despise its bitter residue on my mouth
but not say i've embraced happy
the sunshiny bath can burn me
and have me sulk just the same
i stand on this state
taking each blow indifferently
like an aging tree wretched
by time and tempests
and i stand here like a stone.
numb and alone.

-- 4/15/05